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Today, I’m pretty upset. I read an article. I speak on an article on ‘Tech ‘Solutions’ Your Small Biz Can’t Use‘ over at msnbc.com (there’s a little businessweek.com logo there, so it may have come from them). So what is it that made me angry?

Not knowing is not a problem. Lord knows there are plenty of things I don’t know. Unwillingness to learn? Well, that’s a personal decision. Bad-mouthing? Hey, if you’ve had a bad experience, let the world know, a better product may result? All these things balled into one? That’s just ridiculous. The article basically touches on 10 Tech Solutions that the writer, Gene Marks, feels should not be bothered with by a small business owner. Funny thing is, I consult to, and help small business owners a great deal on a freelance and corporate level, and make use of a good number of these items with a degree of success. If they weren’t successful, I wouldn’t be using them. It would be a waste of my time, the clients money, and in the end, result in fewer clients. And my son’s XBox 360 game collection will not have that.

I want to go over these items, and touch on why Mr. Marks has a thing or 2 to learn about our world.

1. RSS Feeds

Bob, an electrical contractor, knows what RSS stands for, and I feel sorry for him. He had the misfortune of signing up for an RSS feed. This misnomer is designed to make us feel like we’re getting a “feed” of data just like all the really, really important media people do. When he first tried RSS, he thought, “Wow, I can get immediate updates on product and industry developments, important news from Yahoo! (YHOO), and even get a new joke from The Onion, all as soon as they’re published!” Instead, he was “fed” an endless stream of meaningless items displayed in an overly large browser window that winds up distracting more than informing. Like Bob, most of the business owners I know have abandoned RSS and gone back to controlling when they get their information. Still don’t know what RSS stands for? Trust me, it’s just not that important.

Such is the world of RSS. If a blog or site doesn’t keep quality, fresh content coming, people take their feeds off, and replace them with better ones. It’s our circle of life. Instead of telling Bob that it would be better to not bother with it, educate him on the convenience it can provide, and the insight he can gather by subscribing to the right ones. Let him know of some tips on discerning decent blogs or news sites to enhance his knowledge of his own industry.

2. Spam Filters

I get this question at just about every presentation I give to business owners: “What spam filters do you recommend?” My answer: “None.” They all suck. Let’s face it: You’re not going to eliminate spam in your business. Instead you’re going to waste money on the latest filtering technology, which does nothing more than block that key e-mail you were awaiting from a prospective customer. Or you’ll require a sender to complete a Sudoku puzzle before “allowing” their e-mail to reach your in-box. In the end, it’s cheaper for your employees to just sort and delete spam as it comes in.

You heard it. It’s cheaper to pay another person that could probably be better placed in another position, to sit all day and delete spam. Or, you could spend the 30 minutes it would take to get that nifty little JavaScript to hide your email address from scrapers. Then, take the other 30 minutes a week to tweak your filters properly. Yes, it will take time, and yes, it will be a lot cheaper and more productive than having a human dedicated to this. Just because you don’t understand something, Gene, doesn’t mean it’s a waste of time. It just means you have to try a little harder.

3. Antivirus Software

Betsy was looking for just the right technology to slow down her employees’ computers and significantly degrade the performance of her business applications. Well, she found it, and it’s called antivirus software. As an added bonus, this software prevents her from installing or upgrading applications without a team of NASA-trained IT consultants. Betsy’s spent more money with her IT firm trying to work around antivirus software than she probably would’ve spent if she received an actual virus. What should a business owner do to avoid viruses, worms, and other evil applications that can wreak havoc in our systems? Our tools are still too limited. Even telling your employees, for the 900th time, not to open up suspicious files doesn’t seem to work. I don’t have a very good answer for Betsy’s dilemma. But I do know the current group of antivirus software applications don’t do the job for small businesses.

Same response as above, except this time, consider those credit card numbers you are keeping on your computers. Sigh…

4. Blogs

Jamie! You started a blog for your business? That’s dope! Now go out and get some accessories, like a pair of black-rimmed rectangular glasses and a Starbucks card. And oh, by the way, you’ll need to set aside about 17 hours each day to keep it fresh. Dude, it’ll be so viral. What’s that, Jamie? You’re not in the media business? You don’t work for a software company? You just own a hardware store? Dude, that’s a drag! If you don’t have something new to say each day, no one’s going to bother to stop by and check out your blog. It’ll be, like, so lame. And if you do have something to say, just be careful you don’t give away too much information. You didn’t consider all this? You don’t have the time? You’re not such a great writer? Word.

Jamie. Hardware. Hmmm…

Try this. Turn your simple hardware store into the authority on fix-it-yourself information for your customers. One post per week on a new subject: fixing a leaky pipe, building a deck (which could be a 5 – 10 part series, pulling visitors continually), fixing garbage disposals, humane pest traps, etc. There’s one a week forever. Also, Jaime, I know you get questions on an hourly basis. “How do I” is probably a phrase you hear more than anything else. Spend another post per week on answering the most common question of that week. There’s another set of posts for another infinite amount of time. Hey, Jaime, don’t forget to invite Bob to your RSS, he needs something good to read.

5. Search Engine Optimization

You mean for $5,000 I can get my company’s name on the very top of Google’s search results? Where do I sign? Many business owners have been fooled by the allure of search engine optimization [SEO] — and I’m one of them. I forked over a bunch of dough to a firm in California that promised to get my company’s name on “all the major search engines” when someone was looking for products that we sell. How did they plan to do this? I’m still not really sure, but it had something to do with spiders, black hats, and link farms. That should have been enough of a hint that witchcraft was involved. After a brief flirtation with page 47 ofMSN’s search results, I gave up. SEO probably does the job for companies with oodles of money, but not for the typical small business.

I’m shaking my fist right now Gene. I’m very sorry you had problems with a past SEO. Unfortunately it’s a topic that plaques our industry. Instead of giving up on a service that could promote your business in an incredibly cost effective and successful manner, put some research time into it. Learn the basics of SEO. Learn what a legit SEO can do for you. Learn the right questions to ask. For the success of your business, learn to learn. I know I seem harsh on you Gene, and I probably shouldn’t mean to as it’s not your fault, but your a businessman. If you are going to be successful, you’re going to have to learn to do some research before pouring your money into anything.

Seriously, Gene? Witchcraft?

6. Mobile Applications

Before you buy into any software vendor’s promise to “enable a mobile application” for employees to use on their cell phones, think really hard about the reality of that claim. Remember that time you used your phone to look up the weather in Chicago? Remember how the seasons actually changed while you were waiting for the forecast to load? Your customer may die of old age waiting for you to enter an order or look up an inventory item on a cell phone. Mobile applications will be a great thing someday. Just like hovercrafts, telepods, and renewable energy. But for a small business on a limited budget, it’s still science fiction.

In this time of information handling, it would be very unwise for any business of any size to completely discount the need for mobile applications. I cherish my Treo, and more than appreciate those sites that make browsing with it achievable. Also, there’s this new phone/thing that came out recently. I think it’s called the iSomething. I can’t remember. But I know it was some sort of big seller. Apparently people are using it to browse the Intersomethingorother. Business decisions are made every minute, and the leaders know that it doesn’t stop. The leaders making the decisions are constantly on the move. Give them something that makes that move easier to cope with, and they will use it. Now, once they are using it, give them a proper means to use it to view your product/service/RSS feed.

7. Customer Relationship Management Software

Readers of my work may find this item a little surprising. I’ve always been a big proponent of customer relationship management [CRM] software. One big reason is that my company sells this stuff. And we have a lot of small business clients who have really used this technology well. Unfortunately, we have a lot of other customers who haven’t been as successful. Fred, a manufacturer of roofing materials, is one of them. Fred and I both learned that aCRM system doesn’t work for a small business without an internal “champion” who takes ownership of it. His $20,000 system just sat there. No one used it. At best, we hope it will become a glorified Rolodex one day. ACRM system can be a good thing, but it takes more than paying for the software and training. Without a substantial internal investment,CRM won’t work.

This really boils down to the “research before you buy” thing again, but that’s been said. Instead, I say to Fred, roofing materials? I took a summer job as a framer, and I know the owner of the company (4 man group by the way) had to keep up with other companies, clients, clients’ clients, manufacturers, and a ton of other contacts. Some needed contact constantly, and notes were constantly needed. Maybe $20,000 was a bit much (I ended up using my then super Visual Basic skills to make one for them), but you have it now. Learn to use it, turn to the online community if you need help. It will save you time, money, and heartache in the future.

Want to consider a real waste of money? Think about the lawyer fees you have to pay when you lein on a house, and can’t provide information when it’s needed. I can personally attest that $20,000 will be a dream.

8. AdWords

John’s a pretty smart guy. He runs a company that sells specialty pet foods. He manages his own investments. He keeps an eye on his taxes. But I’ve found a way to turn John into a blithering idiot. I’ve asked him to figure out how to use Google’s (GOOG) AdSense profitably. Are you interested in a mind-numbing exercise? Give AdSense a shot. Or Yahoo SM or MSN AdCenter. Don’t you know how much to budget for “clicks” on your ad? Are you just a little suspicious as to who exactly is counting these “clicks” that conveniently turn into revenue for these companies? Like John, you’ve just entered the alternate universe of Internet advertising! Here’s a word of wisdom: Leave the mass-market advertising to Coke (KO) and Pepsi (PEP). Small business owners should stick to less mystifying forms of promotion.

I’m not even going to expand further on the fact that this is on MSNBC.com.

John, you have 2 options here (well, three, but one is to keep listening to Gene, and I don’t really think he knows what he’s talking about): you can either take this task on yourself, or you can hire a legitimate SEM to help you out. IF you want to take it on yourself, Google offers a ton of tutorials, and eventually a certification. IF you want to hire someone, there are plenty of places to look. Just ask, and you will find. Do some searching though. Gene had some problems in the past, and I don’t want you to have the same kind.

9. Online Video

I totally agree with that guy I think who wants us to “leave Britney alone.” And yes, Barack Obama is pretty hot in his YouTube video. But none of this means online video is a workable medium for small business owners. Ron, a reseller of computer software, thought his business would be perfect for online video, what with the amount of Web-based training and support he provides. Ron figured he could post some videos on YouTube to help his clients. He soon learned that the cost and complexity was just too high. Quality videos require production companies. Otherwise you’ll have grainy, useless footage. And videos that run beyond a certain length aren’t even YouTube-able. They need to be housed with companies that sell storage space. Ron soon got sick of the process. Online videos are great — if you’ve got the budget of Time Warner (TWX) behind you.

Cost? YouTube is free. So is Windows Movie Maker (It should be on your computer…right…….now). It’s not the best, but it works. Ron, your a computer guy, you shouldn’t have too many problems with the initial setup.

Take it from an online marketing guy, if your videos are so long you can’t upload them, they are too long for your customers. Setup a YouTube channel, hand it out to your customers, break up the videos into series, set them up on RSS, get some AdWords for them, make sure they are mobile ready, contract an SEO or SEM to help you promote them, and setup your spam filter properly (do it right and you’ll grow more than you think). If it doesn’t take off after 30 minutes, give it time. Promote it effectively.

Ron, I would have killed for video help when I was a budding computer teen, trying to learn my way through that stupid A+ certification (no YouTube back then). Or later when C++ turned from fun into I/O strings (easy my ass). Stick to it. Your customers will love you, and so will the new ones you gain. People, online more than ever, have a neat nack for picking out the ones that are legitimately out to help others. Success usually follows.

10. Web 2.0

Want to make a room of small business owners go completely silent? Ask them to define Web 2.0. The world is full of industries coming up with sexy terms to create buzz and mystique around their genius. Web 2.0 is no different. A Web guy will tell you, “It’s the next generation of Internet technology.” And how does this affect small business owners? I hear all these great predictions of earth-shaking developments to come. I hear words like “mashup” and “wiki,” and I’m still trying to figure out how these affect my business. All I really see are the same accounting, inventory, and order entry programs from the days of Reagan, albeit with new window dressing. I think we’re supposed to be using Web 2.0 technologies to do more work online. But unless you’re running an online business, these tools seem to have little relevance.

Give me a second. I have a ton of smart little remarks for this one, I’m just trying to pick the right one.

Wanna make a room full of parents go silent? Offer free Britney Spears babysitting classes. Wanna see me go silent, I’ll place the video on YouTube (it’ll only take me a second Gene) of my face as I watched my son open the drum set my parents bought for him for Christmas. My point? Given the right circumstance with the right question, you can create any desired outcome. Don’t use that as a logic.

I don’t know what “web guy” would provide you with such a vague explanation as the one you provided, but I’m guessing it’s the same one that he was told by some other “web guy” that was more concerned with looking smart than helping the room full of budding “web guys” he was addressing. Wait a minute, I’m a web guy…

Gene, Ron, Bob, Jaime. Let me tell you about Web 2.0. It’s not a fancy term we use to be smart. It’s an idea. It’s an idea to take an online presence to the next step by allowing the input and co-operation of the visitors to your website. By turning a one-sided conversation into a collection of the thoughts and ideas of your visitors, you open your site to a new level of growth. Let me give you an example (that’s what us web guys do when we try to help).

Let’s say Ron takes his videos online. He could post them on a site for his customers to view at their pleasure, and leave it at that. That would be Web 1.0. Then, he could setup a voting system, allowing for his visitors to vote on the videos. That’s a little closer. For each video, Ron could setup a discussion forum, so that customers could ask questions online, and Ron, or any number of other visitors could easily answer them. Allowing for questions to be asked, and answered, a community to grow, and the warm feeling a potential customer gets knowing that others are taking part in the same thing.

Let Me Wrap This Up
It feels like I’m ranting, and I think it’s because I am. When I first looked at your article, Gene, I thought “well, this is my job. I should be nice and educate him.” But then I came to my senses and realised that you are in some sort of position to consult to these people. You also seem to be in a position to educate people through your articles on MSNBC. These people are looking to you, Gene (can I call you Gene?) for help and understanding in areas that you so obviously don’t have a grasp on. Instead of actually helping them by either researching the questions, or at the least sending them to someone that can (tell them about my RSS), you shuck it off, delaying or preventing all together a chance that they might have to take their business to the next level. This is extremely irresponsible, Gene, and your causing more problems than anything else.